Nova + Hazel

Nova Charlotte and Hazel June

March 11th, 2019

3:03pm + 3:07pm

Sunday evening, March 10th we went into OSF for a scheduled induction at 8pm.  Both babies were head down, which was a huge plus! Dr. Ma had told me over and over that as long as baby A was head down he would try his very best to deliver both vaginally. He was not afraid to deliver baby B breech if necessary. It was my first induction, I had always gone on my own before and we pushed induction off as long as it felt safe. I was 38 weeks + 2 days, dilated to a three, and was hopeful it would go similar to my others since my body was getting ready. I had a lot of inner anxiety in the weeks before and read many positive natural twins birth stories and many more articles on ways to mentally cope with the pain of childbirth. I wish I could say I felt ready, but I think there was a bit of "birth trauma" (not to be dramatic) that I associated with my other births and I was slightly in denial that I had to do it again. :)  I was really wanting another birth without epidural,but felt a bit of backlash about that and honestly didn't know how the nurses would respond. Dr. Ma was willing to let me go without. I told the nurse when we got there that I would like to try without.. that I had one birth with and three without and simply felt it safest to deliver without. They seemed totally unfazed by it and didn't bring it up ONCE - totally an answer to prayer! I never at all felt pressured. They started me on Pit at 9pm and by 10 or 11pm I was dilated to a 5.  Dr. Ma came in after another delivery shortly after and asked if I wanted my water broke. I knew water broken = painful so I asked if we could wait and I could dilate more before. At this point the contractions were pretty uncomfortable but not super painful.. bad enough I could not sleep but not bad enough that Daniel could. ;) The night pretty much was the same: contractions level off, up the pit, breathe through some, not dilating anymore. My night nurse said I was a 6 at one point. By morning I was getting a bit frustrated.. I still was not dilating more and I was feeling pretty exhausted. The morning drug on and nothing changed, except my mental clarity. All the positive affirmations, meditations, and verses I was preparing for during transition seemed so overwhelming. I knew in order to progress I would need to have my water broke, and the sooner I moved things along the sooner we could meet our babies. But mentally I was breaking. I wasn't in horrible pain yet.. but I knew it was inevitably coming. A verse I had mediated on in the weeks before delivery was 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." There was just so much fear I associated with this birth and I knew I had to leave it at Jesus feet. In church earlier that day we had heard a bit about Jesus death on the cross. It got me thinking.. He KNEW what was coming- the horrific pain, the rejection, but he CHOSE to go through it because of His perfect love for us. Why would we chose to go through labor? Because we want these sweet babies earthside, because we love them. (I know this is like, a million times less and shouldn't even be compared to Jesus' death) But it helped me see that Jesus understands what we are going through. always. Late morning I got a text from my sister-in-law (probably stressed bc labor was taking way longer than any of my others) she told me she didn't know how I was feeling but thought this verse would be encouraging.. 2 Timothy 1:7! One more time for the people in the back..."For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Not. A. Coincidence. After I got this text I knew what I wanted to do.. get an epidural and have the dr. break my water. And praaaay that it got things moving. Not going to lie, even after telling Daniel and the nurse I still had a lot of fear that I was doing the right thing for me and the babies. Thankfully their heart rates had been solid the whole time and they pumped me with enough fluid to make my legs look like smoked sausages and feel like water balloons. Around 11:30 or so I got an epidural. The anesthesiologist diluted my test dose and started me on a low does of meds.. which proved to be enough. Dr. Ma came around 1pm and broke my water.. and informed me he thought I was barely a 5.  I would have completely broke down crying if I hadn't had the epidural.. but as it was I was starting to be able to relax enough to feel the night of sleep I missed. I rested about an hour until the resident came in and checked me.. I was shocked when she said "you're complete. I'll get Dr. Ma and we'll have these babies!" WHAT?! I mean I felt a little pressure but I had three previous babies non medicated and let me tell you I KNEW when I was complete and they came about 5 minutes later... no waiting going to happen. So I continued relaxing for another half hour or so until Dr. Ma came in.. we gave him a hard time for taking so long, he asked for a comfy chair, the nurse said I probably felt like I was going to always be pregnant, he told them I was always pregnant- hardy-har 5th pregnancy jokes. I was a bit nervous that I wouldn't be able to feel how/when to push.. even though I did feel some pressure and could move and lift my legs. Thankfully it's like riding a bike. They waited on a contraction and I pushed the best I could and Baby A came. Everyone was super anxious to see what we were having since they were twins and mostly because they knew we had 3 girls and 1 boy at home. 3:03 Nova Charlotte was born. I felt more "with it" than I had with any of my other deliveries and it was such a wonderful experience. They set her on my chest right away and of course I cried tears of joy and relief. There are not words to really express how it is to meet the baby you grew for 9 months. So beautiful, so God! Soon after I heard the resident Dr. (who delivered both while my Dr. sat on his comfy chair all grins like a kid in a candy shop) say that baby B's water was broke and I could deliver whenever I felt ready! The nurses told me my next contraction and I pushed again.. they took Nova for just a few seconds while I delivered. I saw baby's face, it looked so much like Tuckers.. a boy? Baby came out and the room got very loud... another girl!!! Hazel June. 3:07pm. I cried tears of joy again while I met the one who had been bruising my rib. She was so petite.. so similar to Nova but so different. I have to say I was not surprised.. I truly felt like I was having two girls. Such relief. I couldn't believe they came only 4 minutes apart. We got to stay in recovery room 2 hours this time. I had minimal tearing, a lot of bleeding (normal with multiples), and both babies latched and nursed at the same time, thanks to my helpful nurse. Daniel and I took turns doing skin on skin with both girls. It was truly a wonderful, wonderful experience and I was so very grateful how smooth things went. We were even able to stay out of an OR for delivery. Dr. Ma was pleased as punch and so amazed how well my pregnancy and delivery went. He told me a time or two "I couldn't script a twin pregnancy better than this!" My mind went back to the afternoon I found out they were twins and how fearful I was with all the risks involved with twin pregnancies and deliveries. (see how fear is a reoccurring theme here) It will forever be a personal testimony for me how God provided every step of the way. It was all Him! And also, I am forever grateful for such a supportive Dr. who was the perfect fit for me and these babies.